Master Tang wrote:Dusk Bringer wrote:Oh you're attacked by penguins alright.
You're attacked by penguins all day, every day. Penguins attack you when you get out of bed in the morning. Penguins attack you while you're eating your breakfast.
Penguins attack you at work, forcing you to lose your job.
Your girlfriend gets tired of the unending flow of aggressive penguins and dumps you without hesitation.
You are ostracized from your friends and family.
You can't even sign up for unemployment benefits, because they refuse to speak to you until you leave the penguins outside.. BUT YOU CAN'T STOP THEM.
The penguins are so ENRAGED by the sight of you, they will gladly smash through glass, run across streets in peak hour traffic, rappel down the sides of buildings, navigate the sewers and crawl through ventilation shafts, just so they can PECK YOU and PECK YOU and PECK YOU.
Finally, you meet someone who understands. A girl who is continually attacked by locusts. Things seem brighter now that there is someone to share your pain. That is, until you discover her DEAD on the floor of her apartment. A penguin lodged in her brain.
In desperation you throw yourself from the window, hit the road and are run over by a bus... full of penguins being transferred to Sea World.
I wish I had a bigger monitor.
Greatest post ever. No if's, and's or buts.
Very, very late concurred.